One of the girl’s
I’m inviting this year is named Awa. She is an excellent student and wants to
be a cop. Last year she won my scholarship!
If
you are interested in supporting our camp, please go to the link. I’d also love
to send you pictures from last year’s camp.
Check Out:
*Parental Advisory Warning (my parents and grandparents are warned about this next section)
I was walking to my
baker and a woman asked me “How’s the something-something?”
“The what?” I asked.
“You know,” She
proceeded to walk up to me on the street and pat between my legs. Yes, there.
“Is the something-something sleeping?” To put this in perspective I was on the
street where I live. Dozens of children and neighbors were watching me as
usual.
Just because I’m
unmarried, she thinks my vagina is sleeping? How rude. This pelvic tapping by a
strange woman has happened to me twice. The first time was at a baby’s baptism.
At baptisms, women do “flashing.” They dance around and show each other their
yoo hoos. Mothers walk around topless everyday, but “flashing” means there’s a
party going down. This is by far the most conservative country I’ve been to.
With repression, people’s sexual proclivities take on a different tone than in
our hedonistic society.
Reproductive Health Talk
I invited a man from Peace
Corps talk to my middle schoolers about gender issues and family planning.
In
front of 120 kids he explained that girls have to right to refuse an arranged
marriage. We also talked about “planning.” I asked the students what they
should do if they are afraid to buy condoms. One brave boy said he’d pay a
small child to go to the store and buy the condoms. This was met with
uproarious laughter. But it’s not such a bad idea. It is common for young kids
of 4 or 5 years old to go out and buy things for other people. If the boutique
owner is your uncle, lord knows what you’d be willing to do to avoid
embarrassment.
My host brother and I
A typical romantic relationship
A preschool teacher
invited me to her house after we taught a nutrition class together. When I arrived she left to go to the market. Her male roommate immediately started
telling me that I needed a Wolof boyfriend. Frequently men tell me and other
white girls that we need Wolof husbands. I told him that I would never date a
Wolof guy because he’d see me as his income. I also explained that it’s hard
for me to imagine that Senegalese men are attracted to white women. Everyday
children scream in terror when they see my white skin, so I can’t believe that
this fear later turns into attraction.
This married man started telling me about his village girlfriend
and how he pays for all of her needs. Apparently I was wrong; Senegalese men
have to buy their girlfriends and wives. Mind you, I don’t know this man and
he’s telling me about his extramarital affair.
“Does your wife have
a boyfriend?” I asked. He said she never would because she has his two kids to
take care of. Money issues and infidelity are the reasons why I would never
date a Wolof. I explained how his economic arrangement with his “girlfriend”
illustrated this.
“Well
what should I do? My wife is in Dakar and I’m alone.” It was only logical that
he has a 20-year-old mistress while his wife slaved away at home taking care of
his two kids. I told that him if his mistress had a baby, he’d be sorry and I
doubted he’d ever marry the girlfriend.
“You’re a jealous
woman, Khady.” This man was giving me all the reasons I needed to not date a
local. Truthfully, it was a great conversation that confirmed my beliefs about
men and I’m glad he was so candid.
A few female PCVs
have found love with locals. These men are college educated, understand Western
women and are very pretty. These men are the diamonds in the rough. Senegalese
men are muscular and tall. Most should be seen and not heard.
Hello and thank you for sharing travel story from Senegal.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Djim, 38 years old.
It’s always a real pleasure when I see someone from western interested about our culture.
I just read you and I would like to say a little about my culture.
I’m Senegalese but I’m so open to the rest of the world, so I have enough perspective to talk about my country still staying objective.
Yes, I agree with all you said on your blog. But let me just tell you that all people are not like that. The question about polygamy, arranged marriage, grey marriage. Of course all this exist. But true love still exists since longtime. I’m not so old, just a little less than 40 but I’m interested about society since I was so young. In my hometown many of my men of my generation are polygamy and they deeply think that it’s good. But also I know many that are against this idea, the know that it can bring so much social problems. I’m one of these guys. I just want to say: some are agreeing with that wife and husband and they both have no problem to life it; in other case the women don’t agree but parents and relative don’t let them the freedom to choose; and another part are completely disagreeing and when the husband take a second wife they can bring so much trouble in the family or they radically go.
So, our society is like many others all over the world. It’s not black or white. Maybe it’s a grayscale or a rainbow. Okay we are more than 94% of Muslims but we all are not good practicing. And some like me have a philosophical concept of the religion.
I have some friends from France that I received many times in my hometown. Before I know them really I had many prejudice about their education. And they thought the same about our living about marriage… but after living together I see my mistake about many things I thought because what I was seeing on movies. They also were so surprised to see we are far to what they were thinking about us because of what they saw on TV reports…
Me and one of my French friends was visiting a man that invited us for a diner. When we were there he was not yet at home. We found her wife cleaning the house, the living room before going preparing the diner. The man comeback home and then we were talking about the place of the woman in the African society compared to western. So my friend talked about the different and she told she will never see herself doing all homework like a slave for her husband. The man was smiling a little and he told: you see I’m a colonel of Air Army, my wife is a doctor. We both have good situation and I know she work harder than me and is busier at work. We have the money to pay someone to do all here. We pay a woman for the housework and a man for the garden. So my wife is not forced to work at home and I always tell her to relax and let them do the work. But she always replies to me: I don’t do it for you or for somebody else. I just do it for me. So my wife doesn’t work at home because she is forced to do it but because she finds pleasure by doing it. And a big part of women in Senegal are so.
My last topic is about mixt couples. I know many people that married whites. Of course many are for papers or for making their situation better but once again many are the result of pure love. Sometimes peoples say that it will not take long time but we have many examples that prove othervise.
To finish I apologize if something is wrong in my words, my ideas. I don’t write for any bad intention. I just write to give my ideas. Also excuse me for my poor English.
Thank you and good luck for the life.
djimthiam[at]gmail.com